Keep the word ‘delighted’ in your head and let me try my best to give you some insight of the value of this word in my life right now.
I have been a girl that has struggled with self worth and body image for most of my teen years and now into my early 20’s.. I thought this cycle of insecurity and discontentment in myself would have ended by now. I’ve written a bit about a few of my own personal stories in my self love journey in a place of coming out of negative thoughts about myself.
About 2 months ago I found my mind playing tricks on me again, I found myself listening to what the enemy thought of me and I believed it, more than ever this time.
I can honestly say, hand on heart I have never experienced self doubt like I have these last few months.
I know other women can relate when I say that I stood in the mirror and picked at every little thing on my body, I could see nothing good about me. The more I looked the more the enemy filled my mind with lies. There is no worse feeling than looking at yourself and just crying because you are so damn insecure of the person you are and feel nothing but worthless. I was caught in the trap of comparison. I just seemed to be in this rut and I didn’t know how to get out.
I had been back in Australia for a few weeks now from a 4 month trip to the states and I was still in this negative mind frame. I decided to take myself down to one of my favourite beaches and spend some solitude time with the Lord. I opened up to Psalm 139 – A beautiful chapter of poetry from the bible that speaks of all the goodness God sees in us. Normally, this would help me and ease my mind straight away but this time it didn’t.
I love that God knows me better than I know me because when I went to close my bible a highlighted verse popped up.
Zephaniah 3:17 – For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty saviour.
He will take DELIGHT in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
I was instantly taken back to week 5 at camp – Reboot.
One of the workshops we sat through was all about how the Lord delights in us.
I’m just going to re write that sentence because a lot of you would have just grazed over it… The KING of the universe, maker of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE takes DELIGHT IN US!
Some synonyms for the word delighted are:
- Very pleased.
- Cloud 9.
If that wasn’t the biggest slap in the face by God at the beach I don’t know what was. I was still in this proud state of mind while reading that verse because I knew it was God speaking to me but my brain was still believing the negative thoughts that were being fed to me.
I remember thinking why can’t I feel the way I did when I was sitting in that workshop almost 3 months ago now?
On the 3/7/17 I wrote in my journal.
I AM LOVED BY A KING WHO DIED TO KNOW ME.
You are my delight..
Every time I feel ashamed or down on myself I need to stop and ask God what he thinks of me. What is God proud of me for?
We were then given time to sit and listen to God and why he delights in us.
He spoke to me and said:
“I delight in you because…
You are courageous and you take risks.
Because you accept who you are.
Because you are loud and quirky.”
I then told my Saviour why I delighted in him.
I delight in God because..
He is my father.
His love is perfect.
He is gentle.
He loves without question.
I am on a journey of self love and re learning to see myself the way Jesus sees me and I am determined to get back to the mind frame of where I was in week 5 of camp, except better.
I am not writing this blog for self pity, I’m writing it because I am the biggest advocate of self love and believing in who you are as a person but know that in different seasons of life come different challenges. Right now this is mine and it might be someone else’s too.
I want to encourage who ever is reading this blog that YOU are DELIGHTED in by a King. Who made you fearfully and wonderfully. He doesn’t make mistakes. He rejoices over you!!! God is Joyful for YOU, He is ecstatic for YOU, he is on cloud 9 for YOU and he is pleased with YOU.
I challenge you right now, Go and sit in a quiet place and write down 3 positive things about yourself. Embrace them and Embrace you!!!!!
By Bethany Calverley.