Less is MORE!

Since quitting my job a few months ago I have had such a strong realisation that less is actually more. I was having a discussion with a few of my close mates over the weekend about values and different experiences and I was explaining that I don’t think I ever want to be someone with a lot of money. I don’t want a lifestyle of spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on superficial and materialistic items because money doesn’t bring you happiness, things don’t bring you happiness. I’ve watched money ruin people and destroy families. I’m aware that we need it to live but since not having a constant weekly income I am so much more thankful and appreciative for the little things. Whether that be someone shouting me a meal or putting petrol in my car or buying me a chocolate. I’ve learnt to have fun without spending money and I have explored and experienced some of the most beautiful places ever as a result of “not having much”. This is the fullest and happiest I have ever been in my whole entire life. I feel like I’m actually living.

After explaining this to my mates, one of them suggested we watch a documentary called the minimalist.

This documentary is essentially about people who have been in high roles/ positions with work, earning big money, living in huge houses and having a life of “luxury” but found they were so ridiculously unhappy. There are 2 main men who created this concept of minimal living – Living with the bare essentials. A few shirts, shorts, one jacket, underwear, a few items of furniture etc. They go around telling everyone their story and how much their lives have changed since living life this way.

This got me thinking and inspired to make a change in my own personal life. I went home and cleared out my whole wardrobe, all my drawers, everything I owned and I got rid of 3 bags full of clothes because I just don’t wear them. I also got rid of 2 whole bags of “stuff” that has been sitting in my cupboard for years. As I was clearing the clutter of my personal belongings, I was clearing the clutter in my mind.

Everyone’s idea of minimal living is different. I still have a wardrobe full of clothes, the difference is these are clothes that I will actually wear. Does this mean I’m not going to go shopping and buy new stuff? No. It just means that I want to be more conscious in what I buy and question if this is going to serve a purpose in my life?

These are clothes I’m throwing away.

Processed with VSCO with a7 preset

This is my wardrobe after throwing out my clothes.

Processed with VSCO with a8 presetProcessed with VSCO with a8 preset

Another thing this documentary made me realise was the fact that I was giving way too much of my time to social media. In a negative way.

For the last few days I have turned off my notifications to Facebook, Instagram and snapchat. I check throughout the day occasionally but I’m not sitting and scrolling for hours. I’m choosing to be more present and invested in the people I’m spending time with.

Every morning when I wake up, instead of scrolling pointlessly through my phone I grab my journal and write down a few things I am thankful for. This has had such a positive impact on me and how the rest of my day plays out. We should always start our day off thankful.

Processed with VSCO with a5 preset

I was so impacted by this documentary and by blogging about it I’m wanting to challenge you in ways you can prioritise. How can you minimise things that aren’t important and maximise the things that are?

Every single person in the world deserves happiness – Your happiness is in your hands.

I’ll close with the quote they closed with off the documentary.

“Love people and use things, the opposite never works”.

By Bethany Calverley.

 

I’m no longer a victim to Anxiety, so why do I feel like this?

Processed with VSCO with f2 preset

It’s less than 2 weeks now until I leave for Nebraska but if I’m completely honest with you I have felt nothing but overwhelmed. I haven’t even really been able to talk to anyone about it because I instantly feel my eyes well up with tears and my head gets this massive cloud of fog over it.

– Why?

I’ve been battling with that stupid little word for the last month now. I’ve been battling with all these stupid negative feelings for the last month now too.

I hit a really low point last week and that low point was the BEST thing that’s happened in this last month, weird I know. Let me explain.

I was no longer a victim to anxiety, so why did I feel like this? Why was my chest tight, why was my heart so uneasy to the point of uncontrollable crying, why didn’t I want to see anyone, why couldn’t I get out of bed, why couldn’t I write? WHY? I’ve got two words for you – Spiritual warfare.

I messaged my best mate straight away and asked him to pray for me, I didn’t really go into too much detail, I just asked him to pray. He replied with “Of course! When things are going right the devil doesn’t want to lose you and will do anything he can to keep you from God”.

I then went on to read a quote that said “There are no short cuts to any place worth going”.

It clicked. everything clicked. Everything finally made sense. Just as much as God was fighting for me, so was the enemy. It was just the day before my low point happened that I was frustrated with God about my finances, I questioned him and said “Why is it costing me almost $3000 just to get to Nebraska? Why, when I’m an anxious flyer does it take 3 plane trips to get there?” and as stated in the quote above he answered.. There are no short cuts because this is part of my journey, because this place is going to be life changing and because it’s worth going. The summer camp I will be leading on isn’t just fun and games, their sole purpose is to encourage children in their walk with Christ, to get along side them and show them how loved and valued they are. God chose me to be a part of that. Of course the enemy is going to attack because God, him and I all know this is the start of my new beginning. When I really sit and think, if I am in this massive spiritual battle right now, I can’t even begin to imagine the crazy amazing experiences and moments I’m going to have over there and how God is going to use me and open up new doors for me.

It’s almost laughable what happened to me last week. That the enemy used my weakness of anxiety,  He made sure I wasn’t able to write which is the one thing that calms me most and my mum was on a trip 10 hours away so he tried to strike when I was alone. When really, I’m never alone because while he was doing all of that God actually stepped in and took me to this place of surrender, filled my heart with love and allowed my mind to be at peace for the first time in a month.

I can’t even begin to explain what I am feeling right now as I  write this but what I can tell you is to trust God. I have had too many crazy, unexplainable and wonderful things happen in my life and more so in these last 5 months that prove he is real and he is working in me. I will write and share every experience, lesson, triumph, low and heavy heart moment that I can for people to have the chance to connect with him.

Now, when people ask about Nebraska, I feel about 20% nervous and 80% excited beyond words because before I was born or breathed into existence this was part of my journey, this was a part of Gods plan for me and I know that following this through is going to bring so much happiness and a lot of life changing moments. For not only me but for others around me.

I feel blessed and nothing but honoured that God is giving me the opportunity to meet new people with the same love and same passion as me, that I get to see more of a new country and a new state and mostly, that I get to share the love of God with children because as I keep growing and my story keeps unfolding, I’m learning that’s exactly what I’ve been called to do.

By Bethany Calverley.

I AM FREE!!!

Processed with VSCO with a7 preset

This is hands down one of the most vulnerable blogs I have posted about myself and my experiences to date but there’s been a fire burning in my belly for a while now and I just really feel I need to write about this and hopefully help anyone who has or is going through a similar thing.

It’s hard to know where to actually begin because this has been such a long journey in the making.

I’ll go from the beginning. 2013. It was only a few months after my dad had passed away, I was coping reasonably well and I decided to move back to my childhood church. That was my first mistake. If I hadn’t of done that, the rest wouldn’t have followed, but it did.

He was a close friend growing up so naturally we clicked after many years of not seeing each other. We started to hang out more and more and eventually began to date. At the time he was everything I wanted and more, I thought I was going to marry this boy. He cared for me and showed me “love”. It was about 7 or 8 months into the relationship and I thought everything was going wonderful but looking back now I realise how unhealthily attached I became to this boy and how toxic our relationship really was. There was a certain experience that happened that I won’t go into but since then everything changed between him and I. I began to notice a huge shift in myself, I wasn’t Bethany anymore. He became very controlling and manipulative of me. He wanted all of my attention and at the time I thought I “loved” him so I dropped everything for him. I became more and more anxious around him and he knew it. A coping mechanism I sub consciously started doing was twirling my hair, he picked up on that and hated it. Every time he caught me doing it he would hit my hand away from my head and scream “STOP DOING THAT!”. He didn’t want me near my friends and it got to the point where he didn’t want me near my family either. We fought all the time. He used to man handle me and say awful, hurtful things to me. He always put down. I remember sitting down numerous times and just thinking.. How and when did this happen? He changed and I feel stuck.

I dealt with it because I was hopeful things would change.. but after this next experience I knew there was no going back.

It was a Sunday morning and at the time he was living with me. I was in my room and he was in his. I wanted space because we had just had a stupid fight, because that’s all we seemed to do. I remember as clear as day I was cuddled up in my bed looking at my phone and he came running up the hallway, grabbed my blanket, snatched my phone out of my hand and took them to his room and hid them. I was already worked up from the fight earlier so as calmly as I could I asked for my things back. “NO” he yelled. “Your not getting these back”. I continued to ask him and he wouldn’t budge. We bickered. Up until this It was no different to any other fight we would have but then what happened next was a complete shock to my system. He raised his hand and slapped me across the face. I held my left cheek and demanded him to give me back my phone. (I later worked out, he took my phone so I couldn’t contact anyone, he knew what he was going to do). I locked myself in my room and called my mum distressed saying “He hit me, he hit me!”. She told me 5 minutes before receiving my phone call God showed her a picture of me in hospital and he called her saying he had beaten me up.

It didn’t end there though, I stayed in that relationship for another few months. I stayed out of fear. I didn’t want him to hit me again, I didn’t know how he’d react if I left. I was scared to be alone with him so at every chance I got I made out hang outs public.

Those months went by and then one day it was over. We were over. I cried and cried. I cried tears of absolute joy because I WAS FREE. I AM FREE. I no longer had to be mis treated by this monster of a boy again. I call him a boy because he doesn’t deserve the respect of being called a man. A man doesn’t treat a woman the way he treated me.

As happy as I was that our relationship was over I was left very, very broken. I didn’t know who I was or what to do with myself. My anxiety was the worst it’s ever been. So I took a step. I went to a Phycologist. I didn’t realise how messed up my life had been for the past year and a half. It wasn’t until I was describing all of these fucked up experiences with him that my Phycologist looked at me and told me I was in a domestic violence relationship. It hit me. I had been abused – Physically, mentally and emotionally. This took a huge toll on me. I questioned my self worth, my beauty and my womanhood!! How dare another human being pick me at my lowest most vulnerable state of loosing my father then doing what he did to me? That’s not fair! That’s not okay with me!

Slowly but surely I began to find my healing! I found it through talking about it, through writing, through friends, though the ocean, through positivity, through my family, through exercise but mostly through my incredible Jesus. He gave me courage to find myself again. A new me. A better me.

I’ve come to realise though, this all comes back to him and his insecurities. NOT ME!!! I went through a stage of being so scared of boys and what they would do to me or have the potential to do to me but that’s not a way of living. It’s about 3 and a half years on now and I have met some of the most incredible, gentle, caring and humble men ever and every time I meet a good one my soul is refreshed because I know the good ones outweigh the bad.

I now know and have learnt exactly what I want and exactly what I deserve!!! I am content, I am courageous and I AM FREE!

By Bethany Calverley.

 

Do what makes you happy!

It’s currently 10:37 on a Wednesday morning and I’m sitting in a small little country town called Grafton while writing this.

I’m having the BIGGEST pinch me moment I’ve ever experienced.

At the very start of this year God has been talking to me all about change and speaking to me through anything, everything and everyone. It didn’t matter how or what form he spoke, it was as clear as day that change was in the making, it was coming. I waited with an eager and expectant heart to what it could be.

I guess I could say that since receiving all this exciting news about change I suddenly became very unsettled in my life as it was. I can’t really explain to you how this happened but there was a shift in my heart and from that moment everything in my life turned… I was coming into an AWFUL tradition period. From my Job, to my home life, to my friends… You name it and everything suddenly became different. I became so overwhelmed and didn’t know how to cope.

Normally, I am all for change. I’m the first person to embrace it with open arms. It’s easier said than done when your actually experiencing it for yourself though. These transition stages of life are crucial for our individual growth, they bring happiness, excitement and trust. I kind of like to view this as a life cycle of a butterfly.

We start out as a caterpillar, a cute little creature but pretty helpless in the nicest way possible. We then move onto the eating stage, when something is about to happen I know that I usually try to do anything possible just to help myself feel full and content again but a lot of the time we fill ourselves with the wrong things and it makes us feel even more lost than we already did. We then go into the most crucial stage of our journey – The cocoon. This IS the transition stage, this is where it all happens. We go through a season of dry, still and stuck – Literally. It’s a place of all things uncomfy and when your in it, it’s not enjoyable in the slightest. Suddenly, one day, it happens… You burst forth with wings into your new beginning, your new adventure. You are soaring to new heights and you are gaining a whole new perspective on your journey.

I knew this next step was going to be life changing, It was going to be my turning point. As the weeks went on I became less passionate about my job and more interested in other avenues. My faith was being strengthened. Throughout this period I have fallen more and more in love with my beautiful saviour and my relationship with him has gone to a whole new level. The only way I can try and explain how my love and faith has grown is that it does not matter what is going on around me, when I trust God my heart feels full. The good kind of full, when it’s a freezing cold winter night and you’ve just finished a mammoth baked dinner with your family and you’re belly is satisfied, it’s at resting stage because you’ve just nourished it in the best way possible. When I think of my relationship with Jesus I feel warm. My heart also feels excited. Think of those little party poppers you get out for birthdays. You sit with anticipation waiting to pull the string, you then pull it and theres an explosion but the joy keeps on coming because your graced with beautiful colours flying everywhere. Jesus is my baked dinner and my party popper.

My change has unfolded, not slowly though. It’s all happened quick, quick like a southerly on a boiling hot summers day. One moment everything is still the next a strong, uncontrollable wind comes. My southerly is taking me all the way to Nebraska to do an American summer camp as well as some solo travel afterwards. This journey has been so ridiculously God-led. There are so many little things that have happened along the way to make this journey of a life time fall into place at ease.

I planned to work up until I was going to leave for the States but God had other plans. He was telling me to move. I wasn’t happy in my job. I was unmotivated and became anxious to go to work. I’m a big believer of if you aren’t happy where you are or you aren’t happy what your doing, change it. The ball is in your court and your happiness is up to you.

After a lot of conversations, reading my bible, writing and praying I took a big leap of faith. God was telling me to quit my job, so I did. I QUIT MY JOB!!! I’ve never felt more empowered, scared, excited and liberated in my life. I had a shower thought and Matthew 6:25-34 came to my mind. This talks all about God providing for our every need. I was worried about my finances prior to receiving this verse. I kid you not 5 minutes after reading this I got a phone call from someone super close to my heart saying that God had been on their case for the last few weeks to give me a big chunk of money for my trip. I didn’t have time to worry about money because God already had it waiting for me.

Since quitting I’ve been travelling up the north coast of Australia visiting INCREDIBLE places, experiencing all things wonderful, meeting new friends, growing my relationship with Jesus even more and having the time of my life! This is what I want to be doing. I have received nothing but blessing after blessing since stepping out in faith and being obedient to him and what he wants for my life.

I really can’t stress how important it is to just do what makes you happy!!!!!!! Life is so short and in my opinion it needs to be experienced to the fullest.

STOP COMPARING GIRL!

The last few days I have felt a strong pull on my heart to talk about the word Comparison and the completely toxic and negative things it does to our minds.

The definition of the word compare is: To estimate, measure, or note the similarity or dissimilarity between.

In some circumstances it’s okay to compare normal and practical things in life but when it comes to a females body I’m going to slap a big fat NO on that!

I will happily put my hand up and say I have been the first person to compare myself to others. Looking back I can clearly see that it is not a healthy nor is it a full way of living. So often I would reach this place of happiness and contentment within myself only to be crumbled by comparison because of the insecurities in my own mind. A perfect example of this really wasn’t that long ago. I was super happy, eating clean and exercising everyday for all the right reasons. I wanted to nourish my body and help it become strong and fit but somewhere along the way it became unhealthy and my motive changed. It turned into I NEED to go to the gym so I don’t get fat and I limited myself to the foods I would eat because I didn’t want to get fat. Anyone that knows me well knows how much I love sushi but I stopped eating it because of the rice, because I was scared that if I consumed too many carbs I would gain weight! My goodness, I am silly. It’s not okay that I made a conscious effort to stop eating something I loved, my treat, because of this stupid fear. This stemmed from a few years ago, I tried to go vegetarian and ended up gaining 8kg in 6 months. It wasn’t my smartest choice but it didn’t change who I was as a person. I was still the same Bethany. I realise that now. I haven’t been to the gym in a while and I’m sitting here with a completely thankful heart because my body has been lazy (who would have thought i’d ever be happy about that?) I’m thankful because I have now had time to reflect and sort things out in my mind so I can go back with the right attitude, mind frame and the right goals.

That brings me to the lessons I have learnt. A self love journey should start from the inside which then will naturally reflect on the outside. I still like to nourish my body with the right foods and the foods that work for me as an individual. Lately I have been asking myself “Will my body thank me for eating this?” A perfect example of this would be ice-cream. I flipping LOVE it but my body doesn’t, hands down every time I eat it I will feel sick and have a belly ache afterwards. That doesn’t mean I limit myself though. Once a month my best friend and I go to cold rock and share a massive chocolate filed cup. It’s all about finding your right balance.

Every woman has been sculpted differently, no one is the same, yet we are all equally fearfully and wonderfully made. The sooner you embrace the woman you are with all of YOUR strengths the happier life is going to be for you. Don’t scroll through social media wishing you looked like her or you had her hair or her abs because you never going to because thats not YOU! I’m all for empowering other woman, If you like something compliment her but don’t forget that there are amazing things about you too.

I’ve started a project for unveiling beauty and my beautiful, beautiful cousin has decided to be a part of it. Her answers are honest, raw and real, I really admire her for it, more than she will ever know. She talks a lot about “bouncing back” after pregnancy and in my opinion she is quite hard on herself but what she doesn’t realise is she is in her “bounce back”,  she’s tackling it head on every single day. She compares herself to others yet she doesn’t ever take time to sit and feel empowered by her own strengths or how far she’s come. She has had two babies in two years.. THAT IS INCREDIBLE. HER body has grown not one but two lives. She has bounced back, she is fierce and she is courageous.

If you are a woman reading this I urge you to start a journal or look at yourself in the mirror and write or speak out 3 positive things about yourself daily. The power of words are so strong. Speaking life into a negative situation is only going to bring positivity and happiness the more you do it. Take time to do the things you love, that might be getting your nails done, getting a facial, doing a hair mask or reading a book. What ever it is, do it, take half an hour out of your day to practice your idea of self love. Embrace your heart moment and be bold with your body, respect it, love it and nurture it. I promise you, your world will change once that switch in your mind is flicked.

By Bethany Calverley.

 

 

Experience, Learn & Grow!

sunflower

I’ve been busy taking some time out to do a lot of personal growth. It hasn’t been a matter of feeling un inspired, it’s been quite the opposite actually.

These last few months have honestly been life changing. Since the last time I wrote a blog post I have met so many incredible people which have empowered, challenged, hurt, loved and inspired me. A few life lessons I have come away with are:

Learn from your experiences – Every single human being in this world has faced both good and bad experiences. For me personally this year has bought its ups and also it’s downs but the main thing I have taken away from each individual experience is to have an open mind and embrace everything from different perspectives but also for what it is. We are constantly growing, learning and changing in life and if you can try your best to take away the positives from the hard things your facing you can have the power to bring happiness to an awful situation. I can 100% guarantee there is always at least one good thing in painful experiences, you might not see it or feel it in the midst but over time you’ll be able to look back and realise simple blessings in disguise.

Just do it – We all have a goal or dream that seems so far out of our reach yet the yearning in your heart for it becomes stronger. Dream it, Chase it, DO IT! I have learnt so much about myself these last few months, one of the main things is that I can do absolutely anything I set my mind to and so can you!!! I’ve had a dream of heading to a third world county to be a part of some sort of mission trip since forever. This year I looked at what I’m passionate about and I booked a trip to Cambodia an Thailand. Sometimes we just need to push ourselves outside of our comfort zones to completely embrace our dreams. Am I prepared to go overseas? Nope. Will I ever be completely prepared? Nope!!! I’m nervous, petrified and excited and I know that this trip is going to be life changing, not only for myself but also for others. Make your dreams a reality and JUST DO IT. I know and have seen first hand how quickly someones life can be gone, it’s too short to sit a round in the same boring routine. Push yourself and challenge yourself to do and be more!

Open your heart again – Let’s talk about heart break. We’ve all been there and every break up is different but in the end we all get the same result of our comfy being gone and feeling a little lost with a sickening feeling in our bellies and physical pain in our hearts. It sucks but as weird and as stupid as this sounds I am actually so damn grateful for every single one of my breakups, every single fight, every hurt, every tear and every inch of pain I have felt. I am thankful because as much as the process of a break up hurts (and boy oh boy does it hurt) they help make you who you are. There is just something different about experiencing a breakup and the healing process from this takes time. Again everyone is different for some it may take a few months and for others it may take a year or even more. Always be mindful when you are in your healing process that you are able to set the pace, you are able to establish your own personal growth and you get to start over as many times as you need. There is someone out there for everyone, know your full worth and don’t settle for less than what you deserve. There are so many wonderful people to keep your heart closed off, take risks for love and don’t fill your head with what ifs!!!

Do things that make you happy – I actually don’t think I can stress this point enough. We have one life on earth, Please make it wonderful. Spend your days doing things that fill your heart with an unexplainable, contageous joy. Don’t make excuses like your too busy. You should never be too busy to fit stuff in that you love to do. If you aren’t content in your job, in your relationship, in your life then take steps forward to change it and to break vicious cycles. We all need to find our clarity and find our happy and a lot of the time this comes from doing simple little things that we enjoy. I believe we should take an hour out of our day to embrace our strengths and try new things or continue to grow and challenge ourselves in things we already love doing.

Surround yourself with beautiful people – This last point is closest to my heart right now. I am so so blessed to share the friendships/relationships I do with the people in my world. I have realised that I have a really special bunch of friends, people I can be myself around, cry with, laugh with, adventure with and do life with! I have had my fair share of awful and toxic friends which makes me even more appreciative of the people that i am close with now. Your vibe attracts your tribe. I have really made a conscious effort to surround myself with people that challenge me, love me and help me become a better person. Each person in my life plays a different role and each one inspires me in a different way. Surround yourself with people that make an effort for you and accept you for the person you are.

By Bethany Calverley.

 

 

I’m Rich!

So often the word rich is associated with money. Normally that’s the case.

The first definition for the word rich on google was : Having a great deal of money or assets; wealthy.

The second definition was : Existing in plentiful quantities; abundant.

I’d love to take the time to really break the two definitions down – It’s funny because they both so perfectly fit in to whats on my heart to write. Recently I’ve been exposed to people with a lot of wealth, I have observed closely to how they act and react in certain situations. Again before I get really into this I am by no means putting everyone in one single category when writing about this, Its just an observation I’ve made.

I’m going to write about my parents and my family again because its my number one go to of how I was raised and what I have been taught growing up. I can 100% say my family and I are rich. Not rich in wealth but rich in LOVE. I’m not going to lie to you growing up my family never had too much money, we always had just enough and that was perfect for us.

I am rich because I am existing in plentiful quantities and abundance of love, laughter, happiness, support, company, passions, dreams, people and Jesus!

I was reading an article about an hour ago and it was about a guy who had a really great job in a law firm, he was earning a large amount of money but he was so so so ridiculously unhappy. He booked a one way ticket and he’s been travelling for the past two years with barley any money but he’s never been happier. This is a perfect example of the less you have actually means the more you have.

I’ve watched relationships get completely ruined because of money. Why is it that people NEED money to be happy? Why can’t you just take it back to the simple beauty of life and all that it is. I’ve learnt that I never want to have too much money, I want to be satisfied with just enough and embrace every little or big experience of my journey on life that I can.

I’m not saying that money is all bad, It’s great if you have it and your actually humble about it because on the other hand I know people that are like that too. So many amazing things can be done with money like building houses overseas, giving people an education, creating a business. etc.

Growing up in church and having a lot of friends that have been on mission trips, every time they have come back from being overseas and helping people that are more disadvantaged than us someone will say… “It’s crazy, you know, they have nothing over in third world countries yet they are so happy”. The reason they are so happy is because they don’t need money to be happy, they choose to be happy with their surroundings and what they have got. I think in todays society this is a massive thing we can all learn from.

I’m not saying don’t strive for you want, I’m just asking that sometimes you re-evaluate your priorities.

This is just something small that Ive noticed and felt to write about – Every single person in the world can be rich if you choose to.

Post by: Bethany Calverley.