Travel, often.

Psalm 96:11-12 – Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice!
Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise!
Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy!
Let the trees of the forest sing for joy

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Estes Park, Colorado, USA.

Travel is the freedom you get when your soul collides with every new and exciting experience. It’s the rush of the unknown, living completely in the moment entangled with a carefree spirit to explore the varsity of the most beautiful earth. 

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The Grand Canyon, Arizona, USA.

It gives me a sense of knowing my God in a whole new way, it opens my mind to a perspective that isn’t clouded with fog. One that is free to dance in grace. His creation gives my soul rest, puts my heart at ease and allows me to marvel at the work he has done. 

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Sometimes, God calls you to other places, out of your comfort zone to teach you, stretch you and grow you in a way he can’t in your familiar. He allows you to make memories that will be etched into your heart forever. 

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Santa Monica Pier, CA.

Travel opens up the opportunity for every person to feel the sense of child-like wonder again. You aren’t bound by anything, you are free to roam in the places your heart desires, you a free to create, you are free to experience, you are free to be present, you are free to live. 

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Seal Rocks, NSW, Australia.

Travel pushes you into a beautiful place of uncertainty,in-stability and spontaneity. It allows you the chance to breathe and explore out of comfort facets just for a small season of your life. God has given us an extraordinary earth to explore his wonder and I don’t believe for a second that we are called to say in one place for the rest of our lives. 

Life is too short to stay in one place. Travel as far and wide as possible. Let your heart wander and your mind hope for the unknown. Leave familiarity behind and let yourself explore the extraordinary. Acquire something new from every place and don’t forget to leave something good behind. Wherever you choose to go, go with all your heart. Don’t look back, just go.

Sunday morning thoughts – 22.04.18

Beth xx

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Let’s A D V E N T U R E!

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Adventuring is in my blood, it makes me feel alive, it sets my heart on fire to the wild pursuit of exploring the unknown and delving deeper into the beauty and wonder of this vast world.

On Monday I found myself overly excited because my beautiful friend Tess asked me to go on an adventure with her. We had no direction or intention for the day, we were just free to roam where ever our hearts desired. We ended up in Newcastle, NSW, where we wandered upon a magical little mermaid hole just off the shore line. It was surrounded by the roaring ocean and a multitude of cliff face, textured and patterned so intricately. Beneath us was a whole new world of creatures, coral, seaweed and living organisms.

As we sat in the stillness of creation I felt myself feeling whole again. You see, over these last few months I have wanted to be alone. In that time my anxiety began to cripple me again and I found that dreaming became scarce. I stopped doing the things I loved. I stopped adventuring. I spent that time praying + seeking but I just found myself going around and around in circles.

God places different people in your life at the most perfect of times. I met Tess 5 years ago and she has been one of my most treasured friends ever since. Whether she knows it or not God used her in the most tremendous way this week.

Because of her asking a simple little question, my heart genuinely bubbled up with pure joy + excitement. A feeling I haven’t felt since America.

When I am given the opportunity to explore I feel the rush and adrenalin of adventure as well as the peace and stillness of my soul. When I am out in nature I find myself connecting to my creator in such a beautiful way. I am able to embrace and immerse myself fully in the wonder I’m forever marvelling at.

Please don’t ever stop doing things that bring you joy. Don’t let anxiety and painful thoughts hold you back from the beautiful opportunities that await you! The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy, especially when you are on the verge of greatness! Don’t let him rob you of your joy, your gifts, your talents or your dreams. You have a God that loves & adores you. He has overcome the world and he is ready to take you on an adventure and invade your heart in the most indescribable way. All you have to do is trust and be completely open to his will.

Beth xx

Re-visiting my vision.

Processed with VSCO with a6 presetI have had my blog for about 2 years now and in that time I have learnt ALOT! I really feel that somewhere along the way my focus shifted in a negative way. I was looking more at what I could gain from my blog rather than how I could be completely glorifying God and serving others with my writing.

The Lord has been teaching me a lot this year about being more humble. He constantly reminds me “It’s not about you“.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God”. 

This verse has always stood out to me. I am very real, raw and honest in my writing. That means I share a lot of really personal stuff that has happened in my life. God put this verse on my heart at a young age because he knew that one day he would call me to be a comforter and an encourager to others. I want my blog to be a safe place for people to feel open to talk about their troubles, I want to not only write and share my stories but actually connect and be there for people.

In 1 Timothy 4, it talks about our spiritual gifts and our individual gifting from God. I was watching a Youtuber talk about this particular part of the bible and what she was saying was… Imagine if everyone practiced and used their spiritual gifts to glorify God the way he intended. It really struck me and stopped me in my tracks because when I sat and really thought about it, imagine how much work God will do through us! We just have to let him.

My vision for this blog is to have a purpose for others, to inspire people, to encourage people and to push people through my writing, through my photography and through being creative in general. I write because it makes me feel free, because I am able to express myself and be honest with my feelings and if I can reach out, touch people and show them the love of God through doing something I am so ridiculously passionate about then I will be content.

Beth xx

 

I’m no longer a victim to Anxiety, so why do I feel like this?

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It’s less than 2 weeks now until I leave for Nebraska but if I’m completely honest with you I have felt nothing but overwhelmed. I haven’t even really been able to talk to anyone about it because I instantly feel my eyes well up with tears and my head gets this massive cloud of fog over it.

– Why?

I’ve been battling with that stupid little word for the last month now. I’ve been battling with all these stupid negative feelings for the last month now too.

I hit a really low point last week and that low point was the BEST thing that’s happened in this last month, weird I know. Let me explain.

I was no longer a victim to anxiety, so why did I feel like this? Why was my chest tight, why was my heart so uneasy to the point of uncontrollable crying, why didn’t I want to see anyone, why couldn’t I get out of bed, why couldn’t I write? WHY? I’ve got two words for you – Spiritual warfare.

I messaged my best mate straight away and asked him to pray for me, I didn’t really go into too much detail, I just asked him to pray. He replied with “Of course! When things are going right the devil doesn’t want to lose you and will do anything he can to keep you from God”.

I then went on to read a quote that said “There are no short cuts to any place worth going”.

It clicked. everything clicked. Everything finally made sense. Just as much as God was fighting for me, so was the enemy. It was just the day before my low point happened that I was frustrated with God about my finances, I questioned him and said “Why is it costing me almost $3000 just to get to Nebraska? Why, when I’m an anxious flyer does it take 3 plane trips to get there?” and as stated in the quote above he answered.. There are no short cuts because this is part of my journey, because this place is going to be life changing and because it’s worth going. The summer camp I will be leading on isn’t just fun and games, their sole purpose is to encourage children in their walk with Christ, to get along side them and show them how loved and valued they are. God chose me to be a part of that. Of course the enemy is going to attack because God, him and I all know this is the start of my new beginning. When I really sit and think, if I am in this massive spiritual battle right now, I can’t even begin to imagine the crazy amazing experiences and moments I’m going to have over there and how God is going to use me and open up new doors for me.

It’s almost laughable what happened to me last week. That the enemy used my weakness of anxiety,  He made sure I wasn’t able to write which is the one thing that calms me most and my mum was on a trip 10 hours away so he tried to strike when I was alone. When really, I’m never alone because while he was doing all of that God actually stepped in and took me to this place of surrender, filled my heart with love and allowed my mind to be at peace for the first time in a month.

I can’t even begin to explain what I am feeling right now as I  write this but what I can tell you is to trust God. I have had too many crazy, unexplainable and wonderful things happen in my life and more so in these last 5 months that prove he is real and he is working in me. I will write and share every experience, lesson, triumph, low and heavy heart moment that I can for people to have the chance to connect with him.

Now, when people ask about Nebraska, I feel about 20% nervous and 80% excited beyond words because before I was born or breathed into existence this was part of my journey, this was a part of Gods plan for me and I know that following this through is going to bring so much happiness and a lot of life changing moments. For not only me but for others around me.

I feel blessed and nothing but honoured that God is giving me the opportunity to meet new people with the same love and same passion as me, that I get to see more of a new country and a new state and mostly, that I get to share the love of God with children because as I keep growing and my story keeps unfolding, I’m learning that’s exactly what I’ve been called to do.

By Bethany Calverley.

I AM FREE!!!

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This is hands down one of the most vulnerable blogs I have posted about myself and my experiences to date but there’s been a fire burning in my belly for a while now and I just really feel I need to write about this and hopefully help anyone who has or is going through a similar thing.

It’s hard to know where to actually begin because this has been such a long journey in the making.

I’ll go from the beginning. 2013. It was only a few months after my dad had passed away, I was coping reasonably well and I decided to move back to my childhood church. That was my first mistake. If I hadn’t of done that, the rest wouldn’t have followed, but it did.

He was a close friend growing up so naturally we clicked after many years of not seeing each other. We started to hang out more and more and eventually began to date. At the time he was everything I wanted and more, I thought I was going to marry this boy. He cared for me and showed me “love”. It was about 7 or 8 months into the relationship and I thought everything was going wonderful but looking back now I realise how unhealthily attached I became to this boy and how toxic our relationship really was. There was a certain experience that happened that I won’t go into but since then everything changed between him and I. I began to notice a huge shift in myself, I wasn’t Bethany anymore. He became very controlling and manipulative of me. He wanted all of my attention and at the time I thought I “loved” him so I dropped everything for him. I became more and more anxious around him and he knew it. A coping mechanism I sub consciously started doing was twirling my hair, he picked up on that and hated it. Every time he caught me doing it he would hit my hand away from my head and scream “STOP DOING THAT!”. He didn’t want me near my friends and it got to the point where he didn’t want me near my family either. We fought all the time. He used to man handle me and say awful, hurtful things to me. He always put me down. I remember sitting down numerous times and just thinking.. How and when did this happen? He changed and I feel stuck.

I dealt with it because I was hopeful things would change.. but after this next experience I knew there was no going back.

It was a Sunday morning and at the time he was living with me. I was in my room and he was in his. I wanted space because we had just had a stupid fight, because that’s all we seemed to do. I remember as clear as day I was cuddled up in my bed looking at my phone and he came running up the hallway, grabbed my blanket, snatched my phone out of my hand and took them to his room and hid them. I was already worked up from the fight earlier so as calmly as I could I asked for my things back. “NO” he yelled. “Your not getting these back”. I continued to ask him and he wouldn’t budge. We bickered. Up until this It was no different to any other fight we would have but then what happened next was a complete shock to my system. He raised his hand and slapped me across the face. I held my left cheek and demanded him to give me back my phone. (I later worked out, he took my phone so I couldn’t contact anyone, he knew what he was going to do). I locked myself in my room and called my mum distressed saying “He hit me, he hit me!”. She told me 5 minutes before receiving my phone call God showed her a picture of me in hospital and he called her saying he had beaten me up.

It didn’t end there though, I stayed in that relationship for another few months. I stayed out of fear. I didn’t want him to hit me again, I didn’t know how he’d react if I left. I was scared to be alone with him so at every chance I got I made out hang outs public.

Those months went by and then one day it was over. We were over. I cried and cried. I cried tears of absolute joy because I WAS FREE. I AM FREE. I no longer had to be mis treated by this monster of a boy again. I call him a boy because he doesn’t deserve the respect of being called a man. A man doesn’t treat a woman the way he treated me.

As happy as I was that our relationship was over I was left very, very broken. I didn’t know who I was or what to do with myself. My anxiety was the worst it’s ever been. So I took a step. I went to a Phycologist. I didn’t realise how messed up my life had been for the past year and a half. It wasn’t until I was describing all of these fucked up experiences with him that my Phycologist looked at me and told me I was in a domestic violence relationship. It hit me. I had been abused – Physically, mentally and emotionally. This took a huge toll on me. I questioned my self worth, my beauty and my womanhood!! How dare another human being pick me at my lowest most vulnerable state of loosing my father then doing what he did to me? That’s not fair! That’s not okay with me!

Slowly but surely I began to find my healing! I found it through talking about it, through writing, through friends, through the ocean, through positivity, through my family, through exercise but mostly through my incredible Jesus. He gave me courage to find myself again. A new me. A better me.

I’ve come to realise though, this all comes back to him and his insecurities. NOT ME!!! I went through a stage of being so scared of boys and what they would do to me or have the potential to do to me but that’s not a way of living. It’s about 3 and a half years on now and I have met some of the most incredible, gentle, caring and humble men ever and every time I meet a good one my soul is refreshed because I know the good ones outweigh the bad.

I now know and have learnt exactly what I want and exactly what I deserve!!! I am content, I am courageous and I AM FREE!

By Bethany Calverley.

 

Do what makes you happy!

It’s currently 10:37 on a Wednesday morning and I’m sitting in a small little country town called Grafton while writing this.

I’m having the BIGGEST pinch me moment I’ve ever experienced.

At the very start of this year God has been talking to me all about change and speaking to me through anything, everything and everyone. It didn’t matter how or what form he spoke, it was as clear as day that change was in the making, it was coming. I waited with an eager and expectant heart to what it could be.

I guess I could say that since receiving all this exciting news about change I suddenly became very unsettled in my life as it was. I can’t really explain to you how this happened but there was a shift in my heart and from that moment everything in my life turned… I was coming into an AWFUL tradition period. From my Job, to my home life, to my friends… You name it and everything suddenly became different. I became so overwhelmed and didn’t know how to cope.

Normally, I am all for change. I’m the first person to embrace it with open arms. It’s easier said than done when your actually experiencing it for yourself though. These transition stages of life are crucial for our individual growth, they bring happiness, excitement and trust. I kind of like to view this as a life cycle of a butterfly.

We start out as a caterpillar, a cute little creature but pretty helpless in the nicest way possible. We then move onto the eating stage, when something is about to happen I know that I usually try to do anything possible just to help myself feel full and content again but a lot of the time we fill ourselves with the wrong things and it makes us feel even more lost than we already did. We then go into the most crucial stage of our journey – The cocoon. This IS the transition stage, this is where it all happens. We go through a season of dry, still and stuck – Literally. It’s a place of all things uncomfy and when your in it, it’s not enjoyable in the slightest. Suddenly, one day, it happens… You burst forth with wings into your new beginning, your new adventure. You are soaring to new heights and you are gaining a whole new perspective on your journey.

I knew this next step was going to be life changing, It was going to be my turning point. As the weeks went on I became less passionate about my job and more interested in other avenues. My faith was being strengthened. Throughout this period I have fallen more and more in love with my beautiful saviour and my relationship with him has gone to a whole new level. The only way I can try and explain how my love and faith has grown is that it does not matter what is going on around me, when I trust God my heart feels full. The good kind of full, when it’s a freezing cold winter night and you’ve just finished a mammoth baked dinner with your family and you’re belly is satisfied, it’s at resting stage because you’ve just nourished it in the best way possible. When I think of my relationship with Jesus I feel warm. My heart also feels excited. Think of those little party poppers you get out for birthdays. You sit with anticipation waiting to pull the string, you then pull it and theres an explosion but the joy keeps on coming because your graced with beautiful colours flying everywhere. Jesus is my baked dinner and my party popper.

My change has unfolded, not slowly though. It’s all happened quick, quick like a southerly on a boiling hot summers day. One moment everything is still the next a strong, uncontrollable wind comes. My southerly is taking me all the way to Nebraska to do an American summer camp as well as some solo travel afterwards. This journey has been so ridiculously God-led. There are so many little things that have happened along the way to make this journey of a life time fall into place at ease.

I planned to work up until I was going to leave for the States but God had other plans. He was telling me to move. I wasn’t happy in my job. I was unmotivated and became anxious to go to work. I’m a big believer of if you aren’t happy where you are or you aren’t happy what your doing, change it. The ball is in your court and your happiness is up to you.

After a lot of conversations, reading my bible, writing and praying I took a big leap of faith. God was telling me to quit my job, so I did. I QUIT MY JOB!!! I’ve never felt more empowered, scared, excited and liberated in my life. I had a shower thought and Matthew 6:25-34 came to my mind. This talks all about God providing for our every need. I was worried about my finances prior to receiving this verse. I kid you not 5 minutes after reading this I got a phone call from someone super close to my heart saying that God had been on their case for the last few weeks to give me a big chunk of money for my trip. I didn’t have time to worry about money because God already had it waiting for me.

Since quitting I’ve been travelling up the north coast of Australia visiting INCREDIBLE places, experiencing all things wonderful, meeting new friends, growing my relationship with Jesus even more and having the time of my life! This is what I want to be doing. I have received nothing but blessing after blessing since stepping out in faith and being obedient to him and what he wants for my life.

I really can’t stress how important it is to just do what makes you happy!!!!!!! Life is so short and in my opinion it needs to be experienced to the fullest.

STOP COMPARING GIRL!

The last few days I have felt a strong pull on my heart to talk about the word Comparison and the completely toxic and negative things it does to our minds.

The definition of the word compare is: To estimate, measure, or note the similarity or dissimilarity between.

In some circumstances it’s okay to compare normal and practical things in life but when it comes to a females body I’m going to slap a big fat NO on that!

I will happily put my hand up and say I have been the first person to compare myself to others. Looking back I can clearly see that it is not a healthy nor is it a full way of living. So often I would reach this place of happiness and contentment within myself only to be crumbled by comparison because of the insecurities in my own mind. A perfect example of this really wasn’t that long ago. I was super happy, eating clean and exercising everyday for all the right reasons. I wanted to nourish my body and help it become strong and fit but somewhere along the way it became unhealthy and my motive changed. It turned into I NEED to go to the gym so I don’t get fat and I limited myself to the foods I would eat because I didn’t want to get fat. Anyone that knows me well knows how much I love sushi but I stopped eating it because of the rice, because I was scared that if I consumed too many carbs I would gain weight! My goodness, I am silly. It’s not okay that I made a conscious effort to stop eating something I loved, my treat, because of this stupid fear. This stemmed from a few years ago, I tried to go vegetarian and ended up gaining 8kg in 6 months. It wasn’t my smartest choice but it didn’t change who I was as a person. I was still the same Bethany. I realise that now. I haven’t been to the gym in a while and I’m sitting here with a completely thankful heart because my body has been lazy (who would have thought i’d ever be happy about that?) I’m thankful because I have now had time to reflect and sort things out in my mind so I can go back with the right attitude, mind frame and the right goals.

That brings me to the lessons I have learnt. A self love journey should start from the inside which then will naturally reflect on the outside. I still like to nourish my body with the right foods and the foods that work for me as an individual. Lately I have been asking myself “Will my body thank me for eating this?” A perfect example of this would be ice-cream. I flipping LOVE it but my body doesn’t, hands down every time I eat it I will feel sick and have a belly ache afterwards. That doesn’t mean I limit myself though. Once a month my best friend and I go to cold rock and share a massive chocolate filed cup. It’s all about finding your right balance.

Every woman has been sculpted differently, no one is the same, yet we are all equally fearfully and wonderfully made. The sooner you embrace the woman you are with all of YOUR strengths the happier life is going to be for you. Don’t scroll through social media wishing you looked like her or you had her hair or her abs because you never going to because thats not YOU! I’m all for empowering other woman, If you like something compliment her but don’t forget that there are amazing things about you too.

I’ve started a project for unveiling beauty and my beautiful, beautiful cousin has decided to be a part of it. Her answers are honest, raw and real, I really admire her for it, more than she will ever know. She talks a lot about “bouncing back” after pregnancy and in my opinion she is quite hard on herself but what she doesn’t realise is she is in her “bounce back”,  she’s tackling it head on every single day. She compares herself to others yet she doesn’t ever take time to sit and feel empowered by her own strengths or how far she’s come. She has had two babies in two years.. THAT IS INCREDIBLE. HER body has grown not one but two lives. She has bounced back, she is fierce and she is courageous.

If you are a woman reading this I urge you to start a journal or look at yourself in the mirror and write or speak out 3 positive things about yourself daily. The power of words are so strong. Speaking life into a negative situation is only going to bring positivity and happiness the more you do it. Take time to do the things you love, that might be getting your nails done, getting a facial, doing a hair mask or reading a book. What ever it is, do it, take half an hour out of your day to practice your idea of self love. Embrace your heart moment and be bold with your body, respect it, love it and nurture it. I promise you, your world will change once that switch in your mind is flicked.

By Bethany Calverley.